I hate to wait!  Actually, I don’t wait, I just do.  Occasionally, I am forced to wait in a line but that is rare.  In an effort not to waste time,  I prepare well in advance.  I only visit Walmart late at night or Costco first thing in the morning.  And at Disney, I have made it my mission to strategically obtain as many fast passes as possible.  There is always a plan to prevent the waiting.  You could say I am “thin” in the patience department.

Almost a whole year, I am “waiting” to climb this mountain…wait to climb and wait as I try to compel others to donate.  I have never raised money before and it is an extraordinarily hard thing to do.  There are so many worthy causes, so much hurting, so much asking.  So, I ask and I wait.

So what am I supposed to be “doing” in my waiting.  It feels as if I am sitting and doing nothing.  My heart cries, there are children who need basic things, things my children have…food, clean water and an education.   Oh how I hate doing nothing…it feels as if I am standing still.

I am totally a Martha, but I want to be more like Mary…Martha busied herself with tasks while Mary quieted herself to see what could be gained.

What if there is something to be learned in ALL the “waiting” parts of life.  I get so busy with my agenda and my plan that at times, I am missing the really good stuff, relationships, people, love.

I get frustrated in the waiting, scared I will fail…and scared He won’t come through.   I need my people to wait with me, next to me.  I can’t wait alone.

Christy is one of my people, she is for me.  Her whole family has been for me.  It was during one of our long walks, she speaks these hope-filled words to me.

“Mattie doesn’t want any presents for her birthday party.  She wants everyone to donate money for your climb….for the children in Kenya.”

This is Mattie’s eleventh birthday.  I am speechless, humbled and blessed all at once.  I think, Fishes and Loaves.  Mattie’s sweet generous spirit was reminding me of the story of fishes and loaves in the Bible (John 6).   A multitude was fed on the faith of one young boy.

Jesus was teaching and large crowds, over 5000 people, followed him everywhere.  Jesus asks his disciples, “Where are we going to buy bread to feed everyone?”  Jesus was testing them, teaching them.  Their logical response revealed their small faith, “We don’t have enough money.”  Didn’t have enough money?  They were with Jesus….did they forget that?

I forget this too.  That Jesus is with me…in the waiting.  But in the waiting, I start questioning HIM.  Why, God, haven’t you answered my prayer…why am I here waiting?  Waiting doesn’t mean no, it just means wait.  Oh, my small faith.

In my heart, I hear, Be Still.

In this story, it doesn’t seem like there is a long waiting time, just long enough for a young boy to bring his lunch and give it in Faith to Jesus.   Five loaves and two fishes.

Jesus took the loaves and gave thanks and then fed everyone until they were full.  And gathered twelve baskets of left overs.  Yes, twelve.

The Bible doesn’t mention this little boy again.  It doesn’t say how he was changed, amazed or thankful.  But I believe that he was indeed changed.

All of the children I know are pretty smart, smarter than me.  I think this little boy knew his lunch wasn’t enough but he believed in a God who could do more than he ever imagined.  And after watching the deluge of leftovers gathered, his faith must have soared from watching his simple gift multiplied into something beautiful by Jesus.

I need to have Faith like this little boy and like sweet Mattie, who just offered their “Fishes and Loaves.”  Faith that assures, with one small thing, God can do amazing things.  Far more than we ever hoped or imagined or dreamed.

And I am learning that sometimes there is nothing I am supposed to do.  Nothing He requires of me, except to have Faith.  This waiting is growing my faith.  The growing of faith isn’t an easy or quick thing.  There is no instant faith, like instant grits.

There are times when I want to give up. When the waiting is too much, too hard.  When the waiting is too long and I don’t see any changes.

In my waiting, God used Mattie’s heart to inspire me, remind me, teach me.  A sweet reminder of all He has done for me in the past; every time He has come through for me.

Secondly, teaching me take one step at a time, to trust Him in the delay.  A call to fight the spirit of discouragement with prayer, to never stop praying.  And a hope that counts on God to come through.

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:31)

The bible says to enter the kingdom of heaven, we must have faith like a child.  I used to think this meant a simple faith.  Now I know, Faith like a Child, means a bold, on fire, and courageous faith.

Please join Mattie and me in fighting to build six new classrooms for the sweet Turkana children at the Napuu school in northwestern Kenya.  An opportunity to give these children a brighter future.

Please donate here : https://give.cmfi.org/help-build-a-legacy-3a.cause

To learn more about Missions for Hope in the Mathare Valley slums, please visit www.mohiafrica.org

Happy 11th Birthday, Mattie.  I love you!